Angry in the Great White North

The International Whaling Commission is meeting in South Korea. Greenpeace, of course, is very concerned about whaling, and will be marching on the meeting.

You'd think that would be a simple affair, given that the commission web site provides helpful directions, including what you should expect to pay in cab fare and for a hotel room.

Indeed, business should be brisk, given that over 52,000 people are marching even as we speak. But you'd be surprised. No hotel rooms are booked. No food is being bought in restaurants, beers in bars, or clothes in shops. No police force is being mobilized. No streets are filling with teargas.

It's not that Greenpeace didn't heed the directions and got lost, but rather they plan to strike fear into the hearts of these whalers with a Virtual March!

The World's first "Virtual March" was unveiled this evening in Ulsan, South Korea, host city of the 57th International Whaling Commission (IWC). Delegates attending the conference joined supporters, passers-by and the world's media in Lotte Plaza to witness the projection of thousands of images of people protesting the prospect of resumed commercial whaling.

A total of 51,161 thousand people from 122 countries took part in the Virtual March by sending photographs of themselves with a banner expressing their concern about the fate of the world's dwindling populations of whales.

The helpful link to the right of the press release implores the reader: "It's vital that you click now!"

Excuse me while I double over in laughter.

Can you imagine? What politician is going to be influenced by some environmentalist who, during a "Will & Grace" commercial break, walked over to his computer to upload a picture of him holding a sign?

The whole point of a march is the unspoken threat of violence. Thousands of people in one place for one purpose, with a scattering of demagogues and anarchists urging more direct action, and only a thin line of police for protection.

As it is, a Power Point presentation of photos.

Excuse me, I feel more laughter coming on.

You might think that the commission members might be impressed by over 50,000 photos. But they don't have 50,000 photos. Greenpeace is counting the number of people in each photo to come up with the number of 50,000 "marchers". To be fair, some of the "marchers" do look a bit scary, while others make me think that Greenpeace should have instituted a "No shirts, No virtual marching" policy. Other "marchers" look suspiciously like they've been Photoshopped into the march.

Now here's a question. In this photo and this photo and this photo and this photo, did the people in the background get counted?

And in this photo and this photo, are animals counted too?

And let's face it, I think this guy in Mexico was using this as an excuse to chat up hot looking enviro-babes passing through this corridor and scoring dates.